if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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