so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
