i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
