Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
