No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
