I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
