His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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