I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize