He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
