It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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