Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Boobs speak an international language.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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