Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
