haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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