It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
