the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
