mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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