plz talk dirty to me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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