508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
