What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
