Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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