Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
