don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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