could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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