in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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