Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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