A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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