Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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