I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
