don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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