my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
