Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have demons in me.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
