i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
