i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I will be naked everywhere
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
