I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
