Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
