I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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