He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize