Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
