I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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