i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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