Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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