I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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