the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
