absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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