i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Blood and glitter go together right?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize