I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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