The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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