He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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