also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
