When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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