a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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