Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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