we made out on top of his cat.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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