C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
