I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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