please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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