Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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