I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
