Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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