its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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