Quick, to the slutcave!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
