I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
did you just send me my own nude
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
