just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
