he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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