margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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