Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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