I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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