so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
